Reflections in the Water

بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيم

A lot have been happening these past few weeks. I have been meaning to update this blog time and time again but was unable to due to busy multi-tasking. It has been a roller-coaster ride if you get what I mean. Not easy being a stay home ummi (mom) to 5 boys and a part-time student too. Lots of juggling and being all octopus-like 😉

Slowing Down

There was one time when the fyp on my TT was full of some kind of scandal which I don't even follow and such. It was intense I must say like continuously the same story with new revelations and such. A whole lot of drama with the comments being nasty, judgmental and such. Then there's other happenings which made my heart felt heavy and brain felt numb. The I guess, it is time to slow down... weird but even though I clicked "not interested", it will still appear as if saying read me and comment 😒😒😒So off with TT, IG and whatever for a while and just go direct to shopping online if need to 😁😁😁

Reflections in the Water

You know sometimes when you drink you like to stare at the water and just... stare. And then you start thinking about a million and one Whys.

Like why a woman hurts another woman when you expect someone of the same gender to understand how another is feeling. Seriously, I loved to think someone of the same gender will feel how I feel but no. Apparently, it is true humans are selfish and often blinded by their desires. Not many will be able to restrain themselves from following such desires. True enough the nafs is way evil than the syaitan in us. And those commenting and making a big deal out of the whole thing, do they even know the people involved personally? One thing I reflect upon and seemed to be proven true is that sometimes as human beings we think everyone around us are doing wrong things like this is not the way neither is that. We forgot that we are also humans, and we also err. Whatever that is happening to others might happen to us, so it is better to take care of our own mouths (meaning language). While I do not support such things, to criticise and humiliate others way too much is just not wise. In Islam there are adab in our lisan meaning oral meaning language, speech, etc. Sometimes you criticise or being so judgmental towards others that you forgot that you have husband, parents, children, etc. Like what if it happens to you. So be mindful in what you say especially in criticising others. Indeed, it is syiok for some people to jump in the wagon and criticise or humiliate or being all judgmental BUT be careful whatever or however you judge others, the same thing might happen to you, so if you can't say nice things then just don't say it. Simple as that. Talking about others is also considered gossiping or airing out the dirty laundry of others. 😉

Ah yes, I do reflect a lot while drinking or washing or anything related with water. Maybe the sound of water calms me down and allow me to ponder through a lot of stuffs. Seriously a lot runs through my mind. I will keep some others for another time. 

More Pondering... Be the water, Feel the water 😜

The selfishness of humans. Indescribable. 

Most humans think more of themselves than others and when others never think about them, they call others selfish. Mental breakdown mak tau!

Like seriously what are all these world leaders thinking when they see whatever is happening in Palestine and they don't attempt to like stop it, they can still say the israwil is victim and such. Wow! not only blind but yeah stated in the Qur'an about these bunch of people. Nakisuu ala ru usihim. Indeed, they are reversed upon their heads. They no longer think using the state of akal but down to state of lowliness. And if the same thing happens to them (like israwil), they know how to complain. Like you can do unto others the worst, but others can't do it to you. Tsk tsk tsk.. Disgusting spoilt brat behavior. The most arrogant, selfish and defiantly disobedient bunch!!!

Not only them... 

There are also others around us who decide on something and then ta daa... you are to comply with whatever that is decided. No one asks you for your opinion. when you speak up, they will put you down, well, majority wins 😒😒😒 Not everyone is privileged nor does everyone like to open up their aib (dirty laundry). Is it wrong to be mindful? If you don't like people telling you to do things that you don't agree on, then don't do unto others. No one is perfect, just be considerate... simplest form of respect. I am not directing to anyone but more like one of the whys that I have been pondering upon. Sometimes it is true when I saw this person who said, you might be in a chat group discussing things BUT the other members in that chat group might formed another chatgroup without you in it. And THAT is where the real discussion is. Looks like it is true... I have personally come across it many times. Family, friends, you name it... it is just that sometimes you feel better pretending not to know. And that is the reason why most messages just receive blue ticks 😏😏😏

Ok this entry has been quite lengthy. Till next time... I have done mirror reflection, water reflection, next where to reflect 😜😜😜

Eid Mubarak!!!

 بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيم 

It has been quite some time since my last post. Ramadan had been great, alhamdulillah. Missing the holy month right now. It is a month of fasting and making new intentions. Getting re-connected to the Al-Qur'an. Afterall humans are not perfect and they do err. Their state if imaan is more or less up and down every single day so new intentions and re-connections are greatly needed. 

It is now the month of Syawal. Eid Mubarak!

The thing about Eid is that it is a joyous occasion, of course, after we successfully fasted (self-restrained) during the month of Ramadan. However, the dreadful thing is how it seems like, how do I put it, wanting to appear good and perfect to others. Ok before you get me wrong. What I meant is like how you ensure your house is so abnormally clean because you are afraid that some people will look and see and judge and spread. Like getting ready to get supervised. Get it? 

There is a saying," when you enter a person's home, pretend you are blind. And when you exit the person's home, pretend you are mute."

It basically means when you enter a person's house, do not look around and scan whatever around the house or make unnecessary comments. And when you exit from the person's house, pretend you are mute meaning do not go around passing judgements or telling others about the condition of the house or the stuffs the person has inside his/her house. Basically, just keep yourself to, well, yourself. Simple right BUT it is the most difficult thing to do for MOST people.

Other than that, Syawal is more like re-connecting with distant relatives, forming new bonds and eating lots of good food and cookies. A month of fasting followed by feasting. 

In Syawal itself, we have 6 days of optional fasting (a good opportunity for extra ibadah, in syaa Allah). It is a good time to qada' (repay) missed fast too, since our body and tummy are still used to fasting. 

This is only the first week of Syawal, soon will be the week of open houses. The week where people ordered or cook a buffet spread and set aside days where they will not go out visiting but stay home to welcome guests. Another week of feasting (that 6 days of optional fasting is also like detoxing your body). Where I am from and the culture I am being brought up in really practice "1 month of fasting followed by 1 month of Eid". A joyous occasion but must control the nafs in feasting. 😂😂😂

My online classes will resume tonight after a month of break and soon exams will follow. Raya is still Raya but study also need to study. Raya-ing with book along. 

There's a lot of things I feel like expressing but since it is Eid, I shall stop here.😁😁😁

Last but not least, Eid Mubarak! TaqabbalAllahu minna wa minkum. Minal 'aa-idin wal faizin💚🙏

Enjoy your blessed Eid with your loved ones.

In the Hands of Other

بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيم 

I keep myself updated with the whole Palestine issue and it saddens me that the lives of millions of people are in the hands of a handful of idiotic leaders/ people. Amongst them are the power-hungry idiots and those who are being bribed with monetary gains. It just seems unfair like who are they to decide who to live and who to die, who to feed and who to starve, who to send aid to and who to restrain aid to. Seriously?! Aren't we human being too over our heads for our own good? 

It is revolting to know that the whole lot of powerful idiotic elites (except for those who cares) can't even stop a handful of barbaric delusional psychos 💩💩who don't even belong to that particular country. And oh, not forgetting, their kaypoh sidekicks who think so highly of themselves. Like seriously, their own countries are so full of problems and yet these bunch of sticky brown noses love sticking their noses into other people's war. Do they seriously think that they have done a good job in governing their own countries? Oh puhlease!!!! 😒They put themselves unto high pedestal acting all high and mighty when their own citizens are screaming, "CEASEFIRE!!!" and these political idiots, with Bidin and Setanyahoo as their leaders 💩💩💩, suddenly turn deaf and frantically searching for stupid excuses to make their oppression and attacks valid. Like the whole world is awake and they are watching. Yet these delusional psychos, especially the Poland-born Setanyahoo, can still lie through their teeth without batting an eyelid. How do these people become fathers? How do these leaders sleep at night knowing that their hands are stained with the blood of the innocents?! Revolting indeed!!! And amazingly the world allows these "worse than animals" creatures to roam around the earth. They're devils, I mean even the devil will shake his head looking at these bunch of blood-sucking, power craze idiots! Sheesh!!!😤😡

It is soo sad that the lives of the innocents Palestinians are being put in the hands of the power-craze and coward leaders. Really really sad that these people have a say on how innocent human lives should be treated even when a genocide IS already happening and yet they seem too lenient about it 😭😭😭. Once again disgusting. I know Allah will give them the recompense same as how they treat innocent lives and that the worse level of Hellfire is waiting for them for their disregard of human lives and humanity as a whole. The lives of Palestinians don't deserve to be put in these people's hands. They're too precious for that. With ICJ rulings today, it just showed the cowardice of some leaders and how we can never ever rely on anyone or any laws other than Allah SWT. People WILL disappoint us because some (not all) easily give up their conscience, their humanity, their principle for the sake of worldly benefits, money, etc. I really truly pray that the oppressed will get their due justice and the oppressors, and their sidekicks will get the worse ever retribution that they deserve.

I pray that Good will triumph over EVIL soon very very soon. These idiots need to be taught a lesson (nope... multiple lessons). I pray that Palestine will be free because their lives are too precious to be put in the hands of others. They are just too precious. They should be given the right like all the other human beings. Seriously, the psycho gang should stop it eh and don't be soo kaypoh!!!! 😡😡😡

Mirror of Thoughts

 بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيم

It has been a while. The start of 2024 has been very hectic with the boys' starting new schools, new term, new classes and new environment. However, the news on my IG page as well as TT remains the same. Very sad and heartbreaking. Humans being all greedy, malicious, manipulating, just pure evil without even a little pinch of guilt. 

Anyways, not here to address the issues that I have been addressing in my previous posts. This time is about how shall I put it... Gratefulness or This vs That? 😏

Different people have different opinions but somehow maybe due to age, I have been reflecting a lot like really a whole lot on everything that have been happening. I have been trying to age gracefully but with all these thoughts flooding in, I doubt that the journey will be as graceful 😜

Ok here goes...

Someone who used to have financial issues has now become someone who can afford everything. Something to be happy or celebrate about, right? But what if that makes someone thrifty into someone who spends lavishly? which is better? A person humble, thrifty who puts needs before wants or someone who spends lavishly and put wants before needs... something to ponder about. Yeah, they deserve to spend their money BUT is wealth a guaranteed forever thing? What if the wealth given is a test given by Allah to see how grateful we are? Like if you are poor or financially constrained, will you curse, blame or whine all day or be grateful that you are given another chance to make your life better. In Islam, it can be scary if Allah keeps giving and giving despite the sins we are doing and how ungrateful we are. Ungrateful as in things are always never enough for us no matter how much He bestows his favors upon us. It is already stated in the Al-Qur'an that Allah will test us in whatever situation we are in in poor or in wealth. 

So, what I am trying to put across is not envy towards people bestowed with wealth but more like peering into the mirror to see things not only as a reflection but deeper. How scary it can be seeing people change? And let it be a reflection for us. Always be grateful and not take things for granted. Nothing in this world is permanent. Use what is being blessed upon us to perform good deeds as we are accountable for every little blessing bestowed upon us.

Eh, I am not saying that we can't self-reward ourselves, ya... more like sure, we can buy all the designer brand items we want but just not be wasteful, that's all. 

This year starts out with a lot of reflections. Looking into the mirror and reflect on how different we are from before. How have we changed? With the ongoing war in Pal3stin3 and other Arab countries, looking at their people struggling to live their lives and having that great tremendous faith. How are we affected? They just showed us how important to always be thankful. Money, branded items all gone within minutes or even seconds. Yet, they remain grateful. So, are we going to change the moment we are blessed with wealth, etc.? Are we going to splurge whenever we can afford to like every day? 

Not only with wealth but also with a lot of things we are always in the state of This vs That, the pro vs the cons, etc. 

As I type this, I am still reflecting and pondering. Looking deep into my mirror of thoughts always.

Hope 2024 will be better than 2023 for everyone! Hope that everyone will always be grateful, ya! Stop thinking and buying nonsense 😝😝😝 (a great reminder for me, my hubby can vouch for that! 😂)

The One That Beats

 بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيم

The happenings in the past few days make me ponder a lot. I am a "work-in-progress" and I seriously need to cleanse the most important part of myself which is the one that beats. Yes, the heart. The most important, vulnerable part of a human being. That which can cause envy, perception, judgements, good feels you name it. That slightest doubt passing through the heart is enough to make a person be suspicious of another. That slightest heart flutter is enough to make a person be captivated by another. See it is all from the heart. 

The disease that I am afraid of comes from the heart. Envy, Pride, Arrogance, Doubt, Greed, etc. Root of all evils. Thus, cleansing of the heart is very important.

Ok back to the happenings and the pondering. Well, as a person I am wondering about the actions, words of another. Like when a person does something syirik and yes declares himself/ herself as a Muslim, how do they feel, what are they thinking? Because Islam is a monotheist faith where we believe in Allah being the One and Only god of the worlds. And associating partners with him is not exactly what a monotheist should do. We sought for help only from Him, praise Him alone, submit and worship Him alone as well as put our trust and reliance upon Him alone. HasbunAllah wa Nikmal Wakeel... Allah suffices for me.So when a person performs something syirik doesn't that means he/she has associated partners with Allah. It is mentioned a few times in the Qur'an in regard to associating partners and sihr. So really what are people thinking and what is it that comes across their hearts in such thoughts?

Another is in giving advices, do people ponder before saying anything? Do people reflect upon themselves and think things through carefully on how to get the message across to others? For me the most difficult part in giving advices is that a person needs to carefully reflect and construct their words in order for the message to get across without undermining the other person. Most importantly is the heart, educate the heart to be neutral and not feel as if what is being put across as something that is forceful. Also, not to feel the greatness and arrogance as one giving advices because after all whatever that comes out of our mouths reflect our hearts and is by the will of Allah. Always bearing in mind we are human beings, and it is human to err. We are not perfect and so are others. Like my mak always remind "Do unto others like how you want others to do unto you." 

Always remember to self-reflect before advising others. Advising others is like a self-reminder to our self. Practice what you preach. Good deeds done in silence are way better. It helps the heart from feeling riak. And Ustazah F ever reminded that the moment you just thought about feeling "what if I did this and people view me as riak?" ... That itself shows the existence of riak in your heart. 

So, see the vulnerability of the one that beats i.e. the Heart. Always strive to clean it by having husnuzhon instead of su'uzhon.

In the Nutshell

 بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيم

As we all know, the genocide happening is Palestine is getting worst. The whole world is getting heated up with support for our beloved Palestine. 

In the midst of this, there are also other negativity going on. People tend to criticize other people for their choices or their way of showing support. Allah SWT creates humans different from one another. If we are all the same, then there will be peace on earth as everyone think alike and in agreement with one another. But the dunya is just a temporary settlement and a place full of trials for the good and the bad, for the wealthy and the poor, etc. We are constantly tested with what we have and what we don't so that we learn to show gratitude to HIM in any situation.

Just because a person thinks this is the right way to show support does not mean that everyone thinks the same way or even able to do the same. Each country has its own laws. Even though the citizens do not agree with the government, that does not mean they can just go amok and pay hefty fines. What is being portrayed by the media or what you see may not be all the truth. How much the citizen spends in your country does not justify their status and standard of wealth. It just shows the difference in the currency exchange rate and that's it. Being a citizen from another country that allows demonstrates and such does not give you the right to spread negativity about citizen from another country with strict governance. A person won't know how it feels like living in that particular country. The laws, the fines, the standard of living, etc. Just because we go to another country and spend more does not mean we are rich at all. Like I said, it just means the currency exchange rate is good. 

In the SHELL

You can view us as people who are well to do, dressed well, manage to travel and such. Some even view us as arrogant. But please do not that handful of arrogant people you come across does not represent a majority of us. So don't think you know our country well when what you see is not even in the nutshell. What you see is just the shell. The fact is that we are a minority doing our best to show our support to our brothers and sisters in the Palestine in our own way within the laws that are binding us. You see us as wealthy, but the fact is that every day we struggled to pay the bills, to make ends meet. You see us living in our own apartments but what you don't know is that we are paying for our apartment monthly. The fact is that you do not see the homeless or the less fortunate area or people in our country. For some of you who have not visit our country before, the citizens of our country that you meet are mostly from the middle-income people who save up part of their wages to bring their families over to travel to your country on holiday. They might even be staying in one of the affordable lodgings in your country. 

Adab ABOVE Knowledge

So, what right have you to pass judgements? What right have you to think negative of us when you don't even live the everyday lives that we live? What right have you to criticize us of the way we show our support when you are not the ones bound by the strict laws and fines? What right have you to pass judgement on how we practice our Deen and how religious we are? You are NOT us and We are NOT you so save the criticisms and judgements. 

Islam teach us to have husnuzon towards others and self-reflect upon ourselves always. Islam is a religion of peace, and we are ONE ummah. No one is perfect because we are humans. To err IS human. It is disappointing to see citizens from an Islamic country passing negativity and hurtful remarks to THEIR brothers and sisters in another country. Our level of knowledge is nothing compared to the sahabahs of Rasulullah SAW. So please be respectful and have ADAB above knowledge.

River of Reflections

 بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيم

A lot of things have been happening these past few weeks. Happenings enough to make me cry a river and reflect deeply upon myself, my religion, my deeds and whatever that is around me. Happenings that make me feel the utmost grateful; for what Allah has blessed upon me as well as overwhelming sadness and hopelessness of being unable to do much to help my brothers, sisters and children while they bleed and suffered. The feeling of deep betrayal when the countries you expected to extend help did nothing and instead chooses the nikmat of the dunya as compared to the rewards of the akhirah.

One Ummah

Initially I don't really feel the One ummah as much since I don't really interact much. I am more of an introvert and only becomes and extrovert to those I am close and comfortable with. BUT with whatever that is currently happening, I can really feel the one ummah feeling. Like when my brothers, sisters and children are suffering in Palestine, I feel angered, sad, hopeless all at once. However, looking at how strong they are in their imaan and tawakkul to Allah SWT brought me to shame. It makes me realised how easy it is for me and anyone else to say that we put our trust in Allah but when we are tested, we often question "why?!" instead of saying Alhamdulillah. Through the test happening to them, they remind us to always be grateful and say Alhamdulillah in good and in bad because NOTHING happens without by the will of Allah SWT. They remind me of Sabr, Redha and always Tawakkul in Allah SWT. It makes me realised that we cannot trust anyone or anything besides HIM because humans will disappoint us most of the time, they will betray us most of the time and leave us in the lurch BUT Allah SWT will always be there for us. Always looking out for us and sending us help in HIS way. 

Indeed, it is true that Allah will mislead whom He wills and He will guide whom He wills. 

He puts a permanent seal on the hearts of the disbelievers. He covers their sight and hearing, so they   wander around blindly.

There are a lot of verses in the Qur'an mentioning this. And now I find how true it is. There are some who will support the oppressors as if they did not see the suffering, the bleeding of the innocent. Their media trusts and reports the falsehood instead of the truth. Some raced ahead to stand in line with the oppressors for the reward of the temporary dunya instead of bracing themselves to stand with the truth for the reward of the everlasting Hereafter. Despite all betrayals and silence by majority of the leaders of the world, the beautiful Palestinians (both young and old) can still be grateful to Allah for everything even after losing everything dear to them in the dunya. That is so subhanAllah! No wonder their martyrs smell of musk, subhanAllah!

May Allah increase my as well as the muslimin and muslimat imaan and tawakkul to be like those of the Palestinians. May Allah instill in us the deep sense of shukr in whatever situation HE puts us in. May Allah help our brothers, sisters and children in Palestine to gain victory and freedom over the oppressors. May HE send down HIS aid and army to help our freedom fighters and people of Palestine. May Allah send an azab ever-painful, ever-great and ever humiliating to the oppressors. May Allah open the eyes of the leaders, journalists and people of the world. Aamiin 💚😔

#freepalestine #solidaritywithpalestine #muhasabahdiri #self-reflection